Seeing a lot of creators using the Coronavirus hysteria to market books, films and music. Well, piss on that (assuming you’re not afraid of bodily fluids). I refuse to capitalize on peoples’ fears by throwing links to .99c ebooks at you. (That’s shortsighted). Instead, here’s some resume highlights, pointing out to film/TV producers and studios that I am not concerned at all about working in an office with other people, including those who’ve recently returned from Asia or Italy (I get along great with the goombahs and once saw Yao Ming play). . On top of that, I’m corona free. In fact, not only do I have no ocular halos or coronas, I don’t even have lenses. How many of your other employees can say that. As well, despite the potential confusion between yours truly and Tom Cruise or John Legend, relax. I’m married and faithful, so no worries. Also helped with 2 PRIDE events, so while straight, I’m still gonna be married and faithful, so your LGBT employees can fantasize about me all they want. (How would I even know?) 

Short of anyone sneezing in my mouth, you’ve got the perfect guy to bring into a writer’s room, for script doctoring, for co-writing assignments—you name it. After all, the resume doesn’t lie. The 14m copies in print-print? Yup. Co-creator of a comic book that generated 2 film options, issues of which still sell on eBay for over $150? True. 6 options on my properties to date and 3 produced? Can send you copies (none from China recently—breathe easy). Working on an ad campaign for the Van Halen Store? I’ll give you the guys’ number to check for yourself. Oh, and I’m good with PR folks, too, considering there’s over 7.5 billion people on the planet—and I’m still the only blind one in history who’s directed a feature film (domestic and international distribution, streaming and the rare DVD deal). 

Want a fearless writer to bring on board a horror project? Been banned in several countries, had my work seized from store shelves and destroyed, gotten death threats—and I still eat Chinese food! Face it—you have *no one* like me on your team, and I dare anyone reading to—you guessed it—make this go viral.

To request Joe’s full resume, click here.

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