Joe Monks birthday celebration

Uh, back in February, wasn’t it? Yep, sure was, but, Pam was out of town helping with her dad, then she got back and worked for 9 straight days on PRIDE Cape Coral (Hey, all my gay friends—see? I even delayed my birthday for you, bitches!)—so we finally celebrated, since (again) Pam’s schedule got squeezed like O.J. on the 405 North, and she’s headed back to NY. Still, good time, great food (the Stramenboli casserole recipe I posted on FB the other day? Go check it out to feel like you were here), & a killer homemade chocolate cake w/peanut butter frosting. (Also homemade). And really, waiting? No big deal. Yesterday looked the same on the calendar to me as Feb. 21. : )



Yours truly, working on the script for the 2nd spot for the Yeti Van Halen ad campaign for Van Halen Store. Banged away on it at BackStreets, where the French Dip was as good as always and while Pam played darts. This is why writing is like sex when you’re a teenager—you do it whenever and wherever you can.

Working at BackStreets...


Seeing a lot of creators using the Coronavirus hysteria to market books, films and music. Well, piss on that (assuming you’re not afraid of bodily fluids). I refuse to capitalize on peoples’ fears by throwing links to .99c ebooks at you. (That’s shortsighted). Instead, here’s some resume highlights, pointing out to film/TV producers and studios that I am not concerned at all about working in an office with other people, including those who’ve recently returned from Asia or Italy (I get along great with the goombahs and once saw Yao Ming play). . On top of that, I’m corona free. In fact, not only do I have no ocular halos or coronas, I don’t even have lenses. How many of your other employees can say that. As well, despite the potential confusion between yours truly and Tom Cruise or John Legend, relax. I’m married and faithful, so no worries. Also helped with 2 PRIDE events, so while straight, I’m still gonna be married and faithful, so your LGBT employees can fantasize about me all they want. (How would I even know?) 

Short of anyone sneezing in my mouth, you’ve got the perfect guy to bring into a writer’s room, for script doctoring, for co-writing assignments—you name it. After all, the resume doesn’t lie. The 14m copies in print-print? Yup. Co-creator of a comic book that generated 2 film options, issues of which still sell on eBay for over $150? True. 6 options on my properties to date and 3 produced? Can send you copies (none from China recently—breathe easy). Working on an ad campaign for the Van Halen Store? I’ll give you the guys’ number to check for yourself. Oh, and I’m good with PR folks, too, considering there’s over 7.5 billion people on the planet—and I’m still the only blind one in history who’s directed a feature film (domestic and international distribution, streaming and the rare DVD deal). 

Want a fearless writer to bring on board a horror project? Been banned in several countries, had my work seized from store shelves and destroyed, gotten death threats—and I still eat Chinese food! Face it—you have *no one* like me on your team, and I dare anyone reading to—you guessed it—make this go viral.

To request Joe’s full resume, click here.

Joe holding up barricades.

Ahh, fun times. Holding up barricades after a bit of a forklift snafu for PRIDE Cape Coral Friday night. Luckily, not quite as hoppin’ as it got on Saturday & Sunday.

PRIDE Cape Coral stage 2020