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You’re (Kinda) Safe For The Holidays

Covers to Monstrous and The Hidden

Worried about the upcoming holiday season? I hear ya. I’m a prep-for-months-thinking-of-cool-s#i+-for-relatives type. Last year, we waited for weeks for a home bottling kit so Pam and I could make my nephews custom sodas, with crazy labels. Urine Luck. Skittles soda. Cookie Dough. I know what it was like waiting for that kit to show up.

This year, everyone’s panicking about the supply chain. What I can guarantee you concerning stuff in our store? It isn’t waiting on any container ship. It’s here. If you want to order some horror goodies for Xmas, Chanukkah, a birthday, you will get it. The USPS is what you need to be concerned about—not me.  : )

Also, FREE gift wrapping…by the blind guy. Yup, we’ve posted vids in the past of me wrapping everything from Ovaltine containers to my own Xmas gifts (the wife was responsible for that one), but you wanna hook up a friend or loved one (Hell, maybe a not-so-loved one) with something wrapped by me, there’ll be a box to click to make it happen. If that isn’t enough, though? How about getting it on video?

Yeah, that’s going to be an option. You’ll get the file so you can hang onto it until the occasion so the surprise won’t be wrecked, and this’ll include:

A) Personalization. You want me to describe what’s going on to Chuck or Lisa or your parents? Consider it done. Better gimme a heads up if it shouldn’t contain objectionable content, though—I nick my finger on the paper? I’m not gonna hold back. Speaking of which…

B) Your gift recipient will be the winner (or loser) of wrapping-paper-roulette. Many of you know I go out of my way to obtain the ugliest paper possible, and I’m not going to go out of my way for complete strangers. I’m going to grab a package, Pam’s gonna tip me who it goes to, and then I’m gonna reach into a holiday tin containing about 15 different rolls of paper, and what I pick, I pick. (For Chanukkah orders, you can specify. Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel and all…)

C) Do not expect perfection. Yeah, I’m anal about trying to get things to look nice. Key word here is: trying. It’s entirely possible you could get one of my wrapping disasters, in which the decorative side of the paper faces in and it looks like the gift you’ve given is wrapped in typing paper. Ehh, s#i+ happens. You’ve been warned.

D) This can be done across multiple orders…assuming you have more than one friend/family member who you exchange gifts with who doesn’t have a restraining order. I have no problem wrapping something for Dave, for the chick you and Dave ruined your HS friendship over, or the therapist who’s trying to help you and Dave move on. You supply the names, place the order, I can break up the personalizations into as many packages as you desire. Did I say break-up? Should I have chosen a different term?

E) Gifts get tagged, so again, specify if you need something to be for Chanukkah or Xmas or a birthday, if there’s no box for that, complain to Pam.

If you don’t care and want the possibility of a Chanukkah-paper-wrap-job-with-a-Santa-Claus-gift-tag? Yee-ha!—I’m in. 

Okay, enough of that. MONSTROUS is a classic-era inspired pair of stories, cover art by Rodney Fyke, colors by Tomiwa Olu. The Hidden: A Danni Locke Mystery is exactly what it says, although as you can see from the image, there’s plenty of horror going on. Voodoo, beheading, torture and mutilation—what you expect from stories of mine. Deals available on orders for multiple products, all that jazz. 

Enjoy Halloween, and feel secure in ordering from Fright Unseen for your holiday needs. Comics, LGBTQ-centric tales, limited ed portfolios, work I’ve done with Bernie Wrightson, Zacherley, Basil Gogos and others—there’s plenty to choose from. The key thing is, if you have friends or family who love horror, I will make their gift fun, and bust my ass to get it there on time. If I have to hit the Post Office every day? Done. You’ll get Delivery Confirmation. I’ll sign whatever you get if you’d like. No one’s holidays should be held up because of supply chain problems. And nothing coming from here will be.

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