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Cover Reveal: Exactly the Wrong Things

It started out innocently enough…and that lasted about fifteen seconds. One of the ‘godfathers of splatterpunk,’ as screenwriter David J. Schow (The Crow) has called him, Joe Monks has been churning out envelope-pushing horror since the mid-1980s. His underground comic, Cry For Dawn, was banned in 7 countries in the early ‘90s and seized in federal raids. His latest title, SICK ‘N TWISTED, has a story whose title alone distributors requested be changed. And now? Best selling author Edward Lee (The Bighead, Triage), has opened the door, gifting Monks, Franklin E. Wales and 2022 Splatterpunk Award winner Candace Nola (Baker’s Dozen) an opening line all three authors needed to kick off their nefarious tales with.

“I was just thinking, ‘I oughta call Frank, see if he’s got time’,” Monks said. “I didn’t know Candace aside from online posts and reviews of her books, so I said, ‘Ehh, why not?’”

The result is Exactly the Wrong Things, an ‘80s-style chapbook that’s getting wildly favorable reviews…and blurbs commenting on its cringe-factor.

Exactly the Wrong Things cover

The book will debut on Drew Stepek’s digital platform on October 8, and the trio have launched a Kickstarter to ensure the best print quality possible. “We may make you vomit,” admits Monks. “And that’s our fault. But, at least your puke won’t go through the paper!”

Artist Jason Moser provides the cover and support illustrations, with Tomiwa Olu providing colors. The print edition will be released Oct 13 with B/W interiors, while the digital edition, available exclusively on Godless thru early December, will contain the color interiors.

Exactly the Wrong Things
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You’re (Kinda) Safe For The Holidays

Covers to Monstrous and The Hidden

Worried about the upcoming holiday season? I hear ya. I’m a prep-for-months-thinking-of-cool-s#i+-for-relatives type. Last year, we waited for weeks for a home bottling kit so Pam and I could make my nephews custom sodas, with crazy labels. Urine Luck. Skittles soda. Cookie Dough. I know what it was like waiting for that kit to show up.

This year, everyone’s panicking about the supply chain. What I can guarantee you concerning stuff in our store? It isn’t waiting on any container ship. It’s here. If you want to order some horror goodies for Xmas, Chanukkah, a birthday, you will get it. The USPS is what you need to be concerned about—not me.  : )

Also, FREE gift wrapping…by the blind guy. Yup, we’ve posted vids in the past of me wrapping everything from Ovaltine containers to my own Xmas gifts (the wife was responsible for that one), but you wanna hook up a friend or loved one (Hell, maybe a not-so-loved one) with something wrapped by me, there’ll be a box to click to make it happen. If that isn’t enough, though? How about getting it on video?

Yeah, that’s going to be an option. You’ll get the file so you can hang onto it until the occasion so the surprise won’t be wrecked, and this’ll include:

A) Personalization. You want me to describe what’s going on to Chuck or Lisa or your parents? Consider it done. Better gimme a heads up if it shouldn’t contain objectionable content, though—I nick my finger on the paper? I’m not gonna hold back. Speaking of which…

B) Your gift recipient will be the winner (or loser) of wrapping-paper-roulette. Many of you know I go out of my way to obtain the ugliest paper possible, and I’m not going to go out of my way for complete strangers. I’m going to grab a package, Pam’s gonna tip me who it goes to, and then I’m gonna reach into a holiday tin containing about 15 different rolls of paper, and what I pick, I pick. (For Chanukkah orders, you can specify. Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel and all…)

C) Do not expect perfection. Yeah, I’m anal about trying to get things to look nice. Key word here is: trying. It’s entirely possible you could get one of my wrapping disasters, in which the decorative side of the paper faces in and it looks like the gift you’ve given is wrapped in typing paper. Ehh, s#i+ happens. You’ve been warned.

D) This can be done across multiple orders…assuming you have more than one friend/family member who you exchange gifts with who doesn’t have a restraining order. I have no problem wrapping something for Dave, for the chick you and Dave ruined your HS friendship over, or the therapist who’s trying to help you and Dave move on. You supply the names, place the order, I can break up the personalizations into as many packages as you desire. Did I say break-up? Should I have chosen a different term?

E) Gifts get tagged, so again, specify if you need something to be for Chanukkah or Xmas or a birthday, if there’s no box for that, complain to Pam.

If you don’t care and want the possibility of a Chanukkah-paper-wrap-job-with-a-Santa-Claus-gift-tag? Yee-ha!—I’m in. 

Okay, enough of that. MONSTROUS is a classic-era inspired pair of stories, cover art by Rodney Fyke, colors by Tomiwa Olu. The Hidden: A Danni Locke Mystery is exactly what it says, although as you can see from the image, there’s plenty of horror going on. Voodoo, beheading, torture and mutilation—what you expect from stories of mine. Deals available on orders for multiple products, all that jazz. 

Enjoy Halloween, and feel secure in ordering from Fright Unseen for your holiday needs. Comics, LGBTQ-centric tales, limited ed portfolios, work I’ve done with Bernie Wrightson, Zacherley, Basil Gogos and others—there’s plenty to choose from. The key thing is, if you have friends or family who love horror, I will make their gift fun, and bust my ass to get it there on time. If I have to hit the Post Office every day? Done. You’ll get Delivery Confirmation. I’ll sign whatever you get if you’d like. No one’s holidays should be held up because of supply chain problems. And nothing coming from here will be.

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A Warm, Bandagey Welcome…

A woman is scared by a mummy reaching out of a casket.

Rodney Fyke and I crossed paths back in ‘the day’—when I was still runnin’ around doing shows like Motor City Con, Chicago Comic Con, ComicFest and others. Even without drugs and alcohol, those years are largely a blur because while a lot of things stand out, I was the only driver. Meaning, if we needed to travel 18 hours one-way to do a show? All me. I put something like 70K miles on my new Ford in the early-‘90s in a 12-month span, all while writing dozens of horror stories, handling the entire business end, and being at a con 48 out of 52 weekends (1992). 

Rodney and I reconnected online recently. He’s been doing projects ever since, he remembers what it was like when Outlaw Publishing was a badge of honor, and he’s got a number of his own projects going for Hazzum Productions. So, why not throw a spot illo his way and check off another WORKED WITH: box from the old days?

And so, here it is. MONSTROUS is a 2-story-chapbook I’m hustling to get out (reasons to be discussed in an upcoming blog). Rodney and I were going over some possibilities, Pam gave me a good run-down of his style and where in an old ish of Cry For Dawn or Zacherley’s Midnight Terrors he’d’ve fit in, and boom—I pulled the trigger. You can decide for yourself, but according to Pam, green-lighting this? I done good.

Should have a pre-order pg up for MONSTROUS prior to Halloween, though our target is November 1. Please give Rodney a warm welcome to the Fright Unseen/Sight Unseen folds. Er, fold!